NFL Team Mascots
Ranking the NFL Team Mascots
You might have read our hard-hitting 2-part article on NFL team mascots on the Football Babble main site, but that list never ranked the NFL mascots. That’s what we’re trying to do here today.
Given the division rivalries which exist in the NFL, we decided to rank NFL mascots according to divisions. Now nobody get too bent out of shape if your mascot getting rated lower than you would hope. I rated my Cowboys team mascot low, too.
NFC North Mascots
The NFC North mascots are a solid bunch, but I have a soft spot for a mascot that had to put up with the nonsense of the Matt Millen era. Shame on the Cheeseheads for never having an official team mascot.
- Roary the Lion – Detroit Lions Mascot – I love Roary, because he has that boozed-out, weary look a Lions fan should have.
- Staley Da Bear – Chicago Bears Mascot – Named for the origin nickname of the Bears, the “Chicago Staleys”. Dates Britney Sbears.
- Viktor the Viking – Minnesota Vikings Mascot – Frozen medieval viking raised from Lake Superior. Training to eventually make the Vikings 53-man roster.
- Green Bay Packers – No Team Mascot
NFC South Mascots
By far the strongest set of mascots, even the 4th-ranked mascot would dominate in several other divisions. Sir Purr is a favorite of mine due to his ability to thwart NFL refs on at least one occasion, but Purr loses out to two of the oldest NFL mascots.
- Gumbo – New Orleans Saints Mascot – This mascot has been around since 1967, though he has morphed from a real dog into a 6-ft tall mascot. Been to many Pro Bowls.
- Freddie Falcon – Atlanta Falcons Mascot – Though a little nerdy looking, Freddie Falcon has been to the Pro Bowl, as well as Cuba, Egypt and China.
- Sir Purr – Carolina Panthers Mascot – Once jumped on a live football during a regular season NFL game, a play ruled a touchback by confused referees.
- Captain Fear – Tampa Bay Buccaneers Mascot – Washed overboard during a 1715 storm off Tampa, his ship beached at Bucs Stadium and now fires its cannons when the team scores.
NFC East Mascots
Chief Zee is the only team mascot who isn’t in a giant mascot uniform and he’s not even the official team mascot, but Chief Zee ranks as the #1 NFC East mascot due to his enshrinement in the Hall of Fame as the Redskins’ best fan.
- Chief Zee – Washington Redskins Mascot – The only NFL mascot with a display in the NFL Hall of Fame, Chief Zee is not the team’s official mascot. Survived a 1983 attack by irate Eagles fans, who broke Chief Zee’s legs.
- Swoop – Philadelphia Eagles Mascot – Appears to be the hardest-drinking NFL mascot, Swoop has been seen hanging out in sports bars before games.
- Rowdy – Dallas Cowboys Mascot – Dallas Cowboys fans seem to dislike Rowdy, perhaps because he’s no Crazy Ray. Once thrown off the Cowboys training camp practice field.
- New York Giants – No Team Mascot
NFC West Mascots
Another strong group, but Sourdough Sam edges out Big Red in a close match of media-savvy, celebrity NFL mascots.
- Sourdough Sam – San Francisco 49ers Mascot – 5-time Pro Bowler, who’s appeared on Monday Night Fooball, MTV and Nickelodean programming.
- Big Red – Arizona Cardinals Mascot – 4-time Pro Bowl veteran who has also been known to dance onstage at Black Eyes Peas performances.
- Blitz – Seattle Seahawks Mascot – Selected to 1 Pro Bowl, Blitz also performs for a lot of childrens charities.
- St. Louis Rams – No Team Mascot
AFC North Mascots
Probably the toughest set of NFL mascots, due to the fact that there are at least two mascot gangs in this division. Who Dey is an old Cincinnati Bengals saying, whatever that means.
- Who Dey – Cincinnati Bengals Mascot – A veteran mascot with several decades of service, Who Dey has been to 5 Pro Bowls.
- Edgar, Allen & Poe – Baltimore Ravens Mascots – Had the most dramatic debut in NFL Mascot History, hatching from eggs at a preseason game after weeks of anticipation.
- Trapper, TD, CD & Chomps – Cleveland Browns Mascots – The Ravens had three, so the Browns had to have four mascots.
- Steely McBeam – Pittsburgh Steelers Mascot – Still a controversial figure in Steeltown, because Steelers fans call the poor guy “Steely McStupid”.
AFC South Mascots
Another solid bunch, but Jaxson De Ville takes the prize as the NFL team mascot with the most enemies in NFL front offices.
- Jaxson De Ville – Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot – Once beat a Kordell Stewart dummy nearly to death, drawing comments from Bill Cowher. Colts GM Bill Polian once filed a complaint against Jaxson with the NFL League Office.
- T-Rac the Raccoon – Tennessee Titans Mascot – The only NFL mascot who’s friends with the team owner (Titans’ owner Bud Adams), T-Rac became the team mascot after the Titans team bus ran over him while he was on the way to watch a random team practice.
- Toro the Bull – Houston Texans Mascot – Has a degree, a Masters of Acrobatics. Like the Texans roster, he’s a young talent with lots of upside.
- Blue – Indianapolis Colts Mascot – Loves to eat “field turf”.
AFC East Mascots
Three solid AFL mascots, with high draft picks and Revolutionary War service to recommend them.
- T.D. – Miami Dolphins Mascot – A perennial Pro Bowl mascot, T.D. was Jimmy Johnson’s 3rd best Dolphins draft pick, behind Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas.
- Pat the Patriot – New England Patriots Mascot – This bizarre looking minuteman is named for the character on the Pats’ old helmet.
Billy the Buffalo – Buffalo Bills Mascot – This 8-foot tall physical specimen out of Bovine University is a former 1st round draft pick of the NFL Mascot Draft, involving the best College Mascots.
- New York Jets – No Team Mascot
AFC West Mascots
While I give big cred to Dan Jauregui, aka Boltman since 1995, I have to give the nod to the KC Wolfe, since he’s shown amazing tackling skills that some Chiefs defensive backs could learn something from.
- K.C. Wolfe – Kansas City Chiefs Mascot – Once performed a tackle on a fan who snuck onto the field, flexing muscles for the cheering crowd afterwards.
- Boltman – San Diego Chargers Mascot – Dan Jauregui is a “common man” mascot who still works as a realtor and part-time school bus driver 10 years after first donning the costume.
- Miles – Denver Broncos Mascot – Raised by a herd of wild horses, Miles helps the Invesco Field grounds crew trim the grass when not cheering on his team.
- Oakland Raiders – No Team Mascot – Jamarcus Russell is kind of like a Raiders team mascot.
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