How To Jinx a Football Team
Forgetting how to jinx a football team can hurt you anytime during the football season, from regular season games all the way to the Superbowl. Jinxing your team, or avoiding a sports jinx, especially comes into play when you play fantasy football or make a bet on a game. So once you learn how to curse teams or avoid cursing your own team, you’ll have the secret to winning any sports bet you’ll ever make.
Feeling jinxed during football season happens to a lot of us fans. Most of us have little superstitions or habits that we perform while we watch a game that helps settle our mind, or drives us crazy because we have to fall into such silly behavior patterns. Whether it’s wearing the same shirt, sitting in our favorite chair or eating the same football food, football fans can exhibit the weirdest behavior during football season. It’s a lot like in the old days, when people knocked on wood to keep the “spirits” in trees and other objects from escaping to jinx them.
Like the superstitions and old wives tales, I think most subjects like “how to jinx a football team” originates from mild ocd behavior. “OCD” is short for obsessive-compulsive disorder, a behavior disorder that causes people to exhibit odd patterns of behavior like arranging their shoes facing north in the closet, avoiding stepping on cracks on the sidewalk or turning the volume of their radio to a certain number.
Most O.C.D. behavior is minor, annoying or even laughable, though some people have the problem to dysfunctional or even disabilitating levels. According to most psychiatrists, OCD is an artificial way to regain control when we seem to be out of control of some aspect of our lives, to reestablish “order” of sorts.
Football ocd can happen, too. Since the anxieties of a football game are something definitely out of our control, we might develop little superstitions that will help our team win the big game. The more personally invested in the game you are, the more likely these football superstitions are likely to appear. Most of us know that these sports jinxes aren’t really in effect, but we go through the motions anyway – just in case.
Common Football Jinxes
Here are some of the most common football jinxes. In case you believe you can curse another team with these behaviors, or you can avoid curses with them, jot these downs under “Ways to curse your football opponent” or “Ways to avoid a football hex”.
Don’t Wash Your Jersey
If your team goes on a winning streak, you refuse to wash the jersey or shirt you wore during the big game. Every week, you bring the jersey out again and wear it throughout the game. If your team goes on a big win streak, this could obviously get a little rank.
Many fans believe that talking trash will jinx their teams. So if you guarantee a win or assume your team is going to defeat that lousy opponent they’re playing next week, it’s assumed you’re going to jinx your team. In this case, you complain about your team a lot and praise the opponent. In the NFL, this is called “coach speak” and coaches do it all the time, under the pretense of avoiding giving “bulletin board material” to their opponents.
So the next time you see that humble football fan or fantasy football owner, that might not necessarily be a sign of a good sport. That guy might just have raging football ocd.
Your Favorite Chair
Some fans have a favorite seat or chair they must sit in every time their team plays. This means they not only aren’t likely to accept invitations to watch the game elsewhere, but they aren’t likely to leave that seat very often during the game. Alternately, someone might find that their team is luckier when they have their feat on the coffee table, or the right leg crossing over the left leg, but not under. Sitting and feet resting are big players in the football jinxing world.
To jinx your opponent or the fans of your opponent, find where they tend to sit in the room, wait until they finally move and then occupy that chair. See if this creates a tense situation or that person seems nervous about the new seating arrangement. You’ll occasionally have someone ask for their seat back. I wouldn’t give it to them.
The Anti-Jinx in Football
Sometimes, it’s better to simply confront the problem head-on and put this to rest. In that case, figure out what the sports jinxes are and do the exact opposite of what you were doing before. Most of the time, that’s not going to happen until after a big loss. At that point, it’s obvious the football jinx didn’t work (or wasn’t executed properly), so it might be time for the jinx to reverse and you do the exact opposite next week.
Jinxing Your Opponent in Football
Remember, football is a zero-sum game. That is, the win-loss ledger has to equal zero in the end: for one team to win, the opponent has to lose.
So avoiding a jinx on your team is the same as jinxing that team’s opponent. So you don’t have to necessarily get out a voodoo doll of Peyton Manning if your team is playing the Colts. All you have to do is follow your standard set of taboos to protect your team from losing, while simultaneously dooming Peyton Manning to a humiliating defeat. Find your football jinx and assure your team of victory.
Football fans are so twisted.
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on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 5:11 pmand is filed under Football.
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