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How to Watch Football with a Boyfriend

How Women Watch Football Games

Let’s focus on the women-folk today.

Females can learn how to watch football with a boyfriend or husband, to avoid a chasm forming between the two of you every autumn. Football season can put a serious crimp in a relationship, but it doesn’t have to.

Imagine your boyfriend or husband watches a couple of college football games on Saturday and has the NFL Sunday Ticket to watch all day Sunday in the fall, so you’re practically a football widow on the weekends 3-4 months of the year.

You can fight the trend and make his life miserable by forcing him out of the recliner and out with your doing non-football stuff. You can ignore him and not see your husband throughout most of your weekend. Or you can try to get closer to him by learning how to watch football with your boyfriend.

Here’s how to watch and enjoy football games. You might have to fool yourself into enjoying football games at first, but you’ll eventually start to appreciate gridiron football for all the right reasons. It’s America’s favorite sport for a reason.

Watch It for the Cute Guys

This is how you pass the time, before you start to appreciate the game.

Don’t tell your boyfriend this, of course. Football players are physical specimens; for the most part, they’re tall, chiseled adonises. Women seem to like the quarterbacks the best, because they tend to be 6’2″ or over. All players wear the tight pants.

No remarks to this effect, because you’ll get one of two reactions. One, if you’re reaction is these guys are hot, then you’re missing all the good stuff of football. Two, why are you so hot for other men?

Try to Understand Football

Learn a little bit beforehand, so you don’t ask a bunch of basic questions. Learn concepts like “possession”, “offense and defense”, “down and distance”, basic penalties, why teams run sometime and pass other times, and how much time there is in a game.

Save up your thoughtful questions for commercials, in between plays and halftime. Football has 60 minutes of clock time, but the actual action takes place in about 12 minutes stretched over 3 hours. That means there is plenty of down time to discuss, but you’ll get annoying if you aren’t following his reactions to the game.

Don’t Talk About Girl Stuff

It’s annoying to a man to be watching the big football game, but having to react to your girl conversation.

Don’t discuss what happened at work last week. Don’t discuss what’s going to happen at work next week. Don’t bring up your mother or your family, unless it’s related to the game. Don’t discuss fashion or entertainment.

I’m telling you, all that’s lost on a guy during the game. Men have a one-track mind, so they don’t want to be thinking about “life” while an important football game is on.

Bring in the Other Wives

If other wives are interested, it’s okay to bring them in. Broach the subject once you’ve shown you’re interested in football. When this happens, don’t turn it into a gabfest. (See instructions above)

Dress Appropriately

Wear team apparel. Dress down, but look nice. A jersey always looks good on a woman, as long as it’s not one of those pink jerseys Jessica Simpson wore. (Well, that still looked good on her, but as a Cowboys fan, I have to say I was ashamed.)

If you want to be one of the guys, it helps to mimic some of the guys’ mannerisms. Dressing in team colors and logos is by far the best way to show you’re trying to fit in. Most of the other mannerisms involves foul mouths, bad eating and drinking habits, and lots of complaining about your fantasy football team’s bad luck.

Let Your Hair Down

Try to be a guy for a little while. Football is about choosing a side and cheering hard for your team; being a football fan doesn’t work, if you don’t care who wins. Football is about catharsis, where you get emotional about something completely unimportant, then walk away with an emotional release.

That might sound silly, but think of football like a movie romance or a romance novel: it’s only fun if you care that somebody wins. So learn about the characters and invest yourself in the characters. Make sure you know the players and why you want them to win.

If you aren’t a big fan of romantic stories, then think of football like office politics. One side (your side) is trying hard to do a good job and succeed, while the other side is nothing but an obstacle. In reality, your husband or boyfriend might be cheering for the local team because it’s easier to get news about them or his father cheered for them growing up, but you have to pick a side and go with it.

Don’t cheer for a good game, in other words: crush your enemy.

Be a Good Wife or Girlfriend

This is his territory, so try to be accommodating. It might sound demeaning that you would be expected to fetch the snacks or open a drink, but this is his time – not your time.

I’m talking about voluntary help, of course. Everyone knows you’re not his servant, so don’t let him order you around. At the same time, he’s trying to relax and get away from things, so making his life a little easier for these three hours is going to make his life better. A loving wife should be happy to help; besides, it makes him more tolerable later.

Have a Good Attitude

Be enthusiastic. Be suitably depressed, if your team doesn’t win. Don’t try to look at the good side of things or cheer up your husband when the team stunk, because he doesn’t want to hear it.

At the same time, be ready to cheer, if your team wins. Be excited about the team’s playoff hopes or bowl chances, or at least fake it, if you couldn’t care less. Know what the postseason implications are.

Fair is Fair

So you conform to his crazy idea of what weekend entertainment should be. He needs to appreciate this and show he notices the effort you made. This means, when football season is over, he needs to show an interest in your life. It’s about Christmas by that time, so take him out shopping with you, once the football season is over.

If that doesn’t work for him, maybe you can encourage him to reciprocate and wait on you at key moments of the week, when you need some rest and relaxation. (Sorry guys, but this is the 21st century.) If you don’t think that’s going to go over very well, I guess you can always be satisfied with having learned how to watch football with your boyfriend or husband, and take comfort in the fact that your Saturdays and Sundays in the fall aren’t a complete waste now.

As for bringing him into your life, there’s always next season.

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 11:48 pmand is filed under College Football, Football, NFL. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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